So like I said, my last infusion went well. I am hearing from most everyone that the side effects of this drug are cumulative so we'll see what today has to offer, but I am full of positive intention and faith. This is #2 of 12 weekly infusions. Second round of chemo drugs. My son will be here to take me in an hour.
The dishes are washed, a load of laundry is in, and the birds are singing under an overcast sky. I'm happy for the cool fog that rolled in overnight. The sun will come later this morning, that's how it rolls here in northern California. For me, made to order!
Last night I was having a pity party, feeling very alone and lonely. I love people, and yet I've always loved my own company and am known for my love of quiet and artistic alone time. But oh how that has changed since my diagnosis and treatment. I have too much time on my hands, and feel trapped because I have to stay put for all of the appointments. I'm an adventurer, a worker, a road-tripper; I'm used to being busier, so that the days (and then the nights) now feel so long. I have great will to keep moving, but right now I don't have the energy. Sometimes I don't even want to talk. So yesterday felt long and way too solitary. Wanting and not wanting. I found myself a couple of times with tears streaming down my cheeks without even having thought about crying. It was a sad day. And then in the evening Shannon surprised me and showed up with dinner and her three kids and oh how I thanked God in glory for taking care of me! It was exactly what I needed.
I have been doing a lot of collaging which has been a very healing activity for me. Here is a photo of my favorite:
Have a wonderful day my friends, please hold me in your prayers as I hold you in mine. lovelovelove....