Woman, sixty, and still trying to get it right. Stumbling the path toward the Divine. Discussing things like grandparenting, Waldorf education, child development, nature, human awareness, empty-nesting, breast cancer, and knitting luscious things once in awhile.
...and I find myself, on the heels of my Mom's death, deep in introspection. Writing like crazy but writing nothing that feels as free as a blog post. Little bits of this working internally that I realized this morning I wanted to share here though.
After my Mom's passing, immediately after, all the grief and strife that lived between us just evaporated *poof* into the ethers with her last breath. It was amazing to me that all the hurt of the ages that transpired between mother and daughter (that most beautiful yet most raw of all relations) was gone in a heartbeat. A breath. And it was an indication to me that where we come from and where we return to is pure love. All that is left here is love.
Now it's a month later, the shock of her death as an elixer to ease pain has lifted, and it's still all gone. Forever gone that grief we grappled with. She and I. And here in the middle of it all (our lives on earth) is where we practice that love. Here on earth in the middle of each and every breath is where we come to know and practice that we are truly all a most beautiful tapestry of one.
Started with white felt (wet completely with water). The 3 primaries only: red, blue, yellow dye, watered down. Painted ala Waldorf wet on wet watercolor style (Yes! just these three colors make these beautiful rainbows when working wet on wet and they are allowed to blend with one another).
A close up of the blended colors:
Drying in the sun to set the colors:
Handwork: Hand sewing stars and bells, embroidered names, and around points to connect front and back lining:
Sometimes when I sign onto my blog here I click on the post someone else recently looked at from blogging days gone by. I get caught up reading through my old stuff. Tonight I am so grateful for this blog. All the memories it holds. Man-o-man. So much fun reading the comments that came through from wonderful folks that became dear friends. Dear friends mostly without faces, but I grew to know that that didn't matter anyway. Love at first...words! And some are still around and I love you! Maybe others are still nearby, just not commenting, and I love you too! If you're still out there, please say hello and update me about where you are...yes, you!
So with lots of recent hospital hours, there's been a lot on my needles lately. Twin birthday time again in Chicago. Perfect that their birthday is in late October because I can knit with purpose. And the weather is changing here too, changing into something new and wonderful once again. Let Busha keep you cozy during the forthcoming Chicago winter. xoxo
Every season, wherever I call home, feels new and wonderful when it arrives. Saturday morning it was 41 degrees here. And I sat at my kitchen table, quiet, contented with a hot cup of coffee, my new kitty and my knitting. New kitty "Dash" makes himself right at home, that's for sure!
So this year it's jacket cardigans and crowny ear warmers for the twin's fourth birthday! The pattern is "Bulky Neck Down Child's Cardigan" from raverly, and the hat pattern is called "loved" also found on raverly. I modified both patterns to my liking (ribbed collar instead of rounded and buttons instead of a zipper for sweaters and simple points without bobbles for the crowns.) The yarn is Katia Peru, a washable merino/alpaca/acrylic (40/40/20). I chose dark green for Eli and a lime green for Sofia. I'm not certain what the crown points are knitted from, something like: "Stash, by Marianne". It feels like a cotton silk blend. Tweedy.
These crown ear warmers were an afterthought with the leftover yarn. Now to finish the actual birthday crowns!
Boy it's going to be a princess and princely kind of birthday!