My Dilemma

I'm often presented with things like this and find myself in a quandry. Mom wants to do things for us, still. But she's old, and physically weak. Thing is, she wants to still participate in life, and I so want to support this. Until she gets pissed off. 

Like yesterday, I took her out for a ride with me.  I had errands to do so she rode along fo some fresh air.  Then we got a hamburger and went to the stawberry patch.  When we got back to her house around 5, I sat in her recliner and put my feet up.  She hates it when we leave abruptly, so I figured I'd sit and watch the news with her and check on the weather for the weekend. While I was sitting and chatting the subject became my t-shirt: and wasn't it just too hot to be wearing?  I don't know if it was criticism or concern, or both, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt.  This then progressed into the work week coming up and what I was going to wear.  I really hadn't thought about it, with the knowing that I wear clean, comfortable, practical, simple when I work as a nanny.

So she brought up "those nice cotton blouses you wear".  Good idea I told her.  And then she went on to ask me not once, but four times if I would please bring them over and let her wash and iron them for me ove the weekend: "It'll give me something to do."

And so, the dilemma.  I can just see her caretakers coming in to find her hunched over the ironing board with walker close by, while it's 100 degrees outside, and her telling them she was ironing for her daughter...SIGH....

Is this elder abuse?  Is there such a thing as Elder Labor Laws?  Will APS be knocking at my door because Mom's caregivers walked in when she was in one of her bitchy moods and turned the whole story around?  Will I be sent to prison and be made to work in the prison laundry until I die?

I really don't need her to iron my blouses at all.  But she asked so nicely, so earnestly.  I could feel her need to be needed tug at my heart.  I just don't know what to do.  She is a doodle (anyone know which movie this word comes from?) for 88 years old. 

If only the sweet part of her personality could be depended upon.

Comments

[jaykaym]

Oh, I hear ya, sister. You've read my father posts. Wish I had advice but I've learned that there is just no winning on these decisions.

[Lisa]

You could call her caretakers and give them a heads up... and then let her have at it, I guess. Our mothers were mad for ironing. Mine was too. remember, they ironed sheets!