Weary and Torn

St. Helena family was not the job for me.  I was stretching myself pretty far to think I could make that drive everyday.  And that was that. I do, in my heart, believe that there is a plan for me within all this uncertainty.  But for now back to the drawing board. :( Part of me just wants to throw in the towel on the California job market and head back to my little babies in Chicago. A big part.

 

  

It's rainy and dreary this morning. My house is cold, and so are my hands.  It's garbage day and I can hear the trucks stopping and lurching forward along the streets of my neighborhood.  I'm wracking my brain to find what I can pull out from my sadness and worry and toss away in my trash can before the truck gets past my house.  But I haven't got the will nor the energy right now, so I will just hold onto it all and try to create something better out of it.  Being unemployed is something foreign to me.

At the crack of dawn I promised myself that if I got up, made my bed, showered, dressed, and got out to take my Mom to the foot doctor as planned, I could crawl back into bed when I was done if I still wanted to.

Comments

[Karen Maestas]

Marianne, I read your blog faithfully and you are always such an inspiration. I want to tell you to keep the faith and remember that it is difficult to transition from one place to the next In life. When you say, "so far I'm not where I thought I was going or where I want to be." Maybe you should try to drop any expectations and see if something comes to you by letting things be. I don't know if these words will help. I hope that things get better for you very soon. Best wishes, Karen

[me]

Dropped. ;) Thanks for the reminder Karen...

[ellen]

I am sorry you have not found your place yet. I am also looking for work and I sympathize with your frustration and disappointment. We must assume that we will find our places and good will come of it.

[Kate]

Sending you big hugs!

I know how difficult transitions can be. I left a corporate job in January to work for myself. It's been a rough go so far. But I'm confident all will get better for both of us!

Kate

[Vickie]

No deep inspirational wisdom from me, just positive energy and prayers being sent your way. Vickie

[Lisa Boisvert Mackenzie]

Ohhh transitions are so hard. You bring so much to the world Marianne, trust that your gifts will find their way to full manifestation in a way that is deeply satisfying for you. Trust. Sending big warm hugs.