Giving Birth

There's so much we don't know as women about giving birth to the crone. There is intense labor involved there too. Moments where one might want to scream after they have been misunderstood. Moments of the laughter of amazement when I realize the things, or people, I once cared so passionately about. While eyesight fades, I'm beginning to see more clearly than ever before. I am realizing that only I can defend my true self. There is no one else that can really do that. I'm going though this each day now. I'm learning to trust my knowingness. Sometimes I feel out of balance and sometimes I feel right on. And this is something that I must do alone. No best friend, child or mate can take on any of the labor of birthing the crone. Just as a young mother must zone to her internal primal space, so must the crone.

I'm busy these days, sorting out my experience, labeling it, tossing what is just not necessary. I'm redefining my opinions and concerns. I'm laughing and crying for those things (and even people) that I found I lived my life for in the past. And also, I ache deeper. I find that what I thought was, or always told myself was true, is sometimes, just not. There is so much letting go of what I thought was, everywhere in my life, and making room for plenty of recreation. It is a powerfully spiritual place in which to be.

As I travel inward I find regrets too. I regret that I walked away from difficulty and shut the door all too often during my life. I regret those times that I hung on too long and wasted precious moments. Now it is different. It is with spirit guidance that I open and close doors. Time is more precious and each moment is the most important of my life. It is the breeze of spirit, the winds of change that blow those doors gently open and closed.

My work is now internal. It is huge and roaring. It is gentle and tender. It is the mother of all. The goddess midwifing me into wise woman. So girls, take note: It doesn't just happen. And it is another gift of womanhood to be able to recreate your life.

Comments

[Lisa]

Marianne, I'm sorry I have been away so long. I loved all your recent posts and this one especially, because it is so authentically YOU. Yes, it is quite a journey. I admire the way you share it here. Merry Christmas my friend, to you and to all the beautiful ones that are yours. This is a hard Christmas for me and I am afraid I am not up to much more than this note. I love you. XOXOXO

[mb]

Thank you. How simple. We continue to give birth, long after the children have grown...I have never thought about that. Birthing the Crone. I'll learn from you.

m

[Eileen]

Marianne - you have so much knowledge to share... as a young mother beginning her journey, I'm so happy to be able to look to women like you for inspiration.
xoxo