Busha Full Of Grace

Happy Mother's Day

While walking with my new camera one day, I noticed this perfect little weed growing in a massive field. I was quite far from it and yet drawn to look at it. It was so tiny one could hardly notice, no bigger than a dew drop. Its fragility sung with vibrant colors, stunning. There was so much in this one little blossom. At that moment I knew it was my Mama's eye at work. All the practice I've had at noticing the hidden, the unspoken, the quiet little joys that children bring.

I am so proud to be a woman in the universal company of all woman, who have this birthright to notice.

~Much love to you all this Mother's Day~

One More Step

Shannon took the bull by the horns today and got her dad and Isaac to give me the better part of the afternoon to begin my move. We got all of the outside furniture to the new place, as well as the living room and dining room table. Camille came home from her dad's to an echo in the living room. So we took the pictures off the walls and went together to hang them at the new loft apartment. She was actually tickled with the way it felt with our stuff in there...and so was I. Here are some photos of the beginnings of our new home. This is the view from the outside, into the open French door, past the little kitchen area, into the living room:

And another living room view:

Then Shannon called and asked us to stop by for a quick bite of dinner. Little Girl is so rosey and yummy. And...

SHE HAS A NAME!!!!

Fiona Quetzali Jubilee Vargas

Overwhelmed Again.

I cannot keep myself out of this state of overwhelm. Today it's huge. It's so huge I cannot even begin to unravel it. There's so much to be done beyond these road blocks; so many road blocks around which I must maneuver. Health blocks. Money blocks. Relationship blocks. Time blocks. Energy blocks. Decision blocks.

So I'm sitting outside the Citadel of My Life too overwhelmed to even stand up and knock on the gate. These days rank right up there with the most trying of my life. In this moment, I'm miserable. Sorry to be a bummer.

Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot...

The Little Things

We've been working on the school garden recently, as I've already mentioned. Today I went to plant some of the tomatoes that Miss Sarah, the gardening teacher, brought to be planted. I found this gesture, this unspoken thoughtfullness, incredibly heartwarming.

Unconditional Love

So these days I'm learning about how to love/give/befriend/serve unconditionally. Every where I look, life from every angle has been daunting. When one begins to feel that nothing they offer to others is ever enough, one needs to look inside for that place where growth can happen. Life is too short to not be grateful and let things just be. I learned that from being an exwife twice.

Doing my best and putting one foot in front of the other. With loving intention. Looking for that next door or window that will be opening. Because I know it will. All is not for naught.

Tea Room Cafe

Matt and Brooke invited us all to the Tea Room Cafe for brunch this morning. Actually, when Brooke called at 9:30 and asked what I was doing, I told her looking for a box of matches. She asked why and I told her, "So I can just set fire to my house, then I can be a victim and not be a responsible adult." Of course, I was kidding. I was thrilled to get out into the beautiful morning. And this restaurant was exquisite. The coffee drinks made to perfection, and the food was beautiful and quite yummy.

Here's my mocha with an extra shot...

Several of us had Eggs benedict...some with ham, some with smoked salmon...

Ike and Satchel had pancakes and fruit cups...

And Temple had a little Papa's finger pacifier so mama could eat:

Aside from all this wonderful food, we had a really nice morning together!

We all headed back to our cars .....

and then we saw THIS place of business. I was SO glad I had my camera.

May Day

Yesterday we celebrated May Day with flower garlands to wear and a May procession around the school. Grownups helped to make each child a May crown while the little ones celebrated 2 birthdays and then played in the sand and the water.

Some children carried branches of snowy May flowers while some carried colorful silks. Hush's granparents were visiting so they held a blossom arch for the children to parade through and Camille and Sarah tossed flower petals when the children passed through the fairy arch.

"Here's a branch of snowy May
A branch the fairies gave me.
Who would like to dance today?
With a branch the fairies gave me?
Dance away, dance away,
Holding high the branch of May.
Dance away, dance away,
Holding high....
The branch of May."

At the end of the singing procession, we shared our lunches picnic style.

It felt like a beautiful joyful gateway into this next season of light and warmth. Happy May Day, everyone.

Can You Go Home Again? Perspective.

I'm so in love with my home right now. This is a shot taken this morning as I left for school: my roses reaching up toward the crescent moon still hanging in the Maxfield Parrish sky. This feeling I get as I close my gate beneath the iron garden arch, bursting/dripping with Cecil Bruners at this time of year. The fragrance, the quiet morning beckoning me away toward wordly life. My sanctuary. The yard around the white house that reflects happy family and laughing, squealing grandsons and all the barking, annoying dogs that I have loved. The two new apple trees planted for me last Mother's Day. Oh, and more. The memory of teenage boys sitting on my porch, becoming men and giggly girls reading star and beauty magazines.

On that note, I will tell you a little bit about how the economy has reared its head here at this home. Being in my first year of business as the country's economy crashes, has been challenging. At my school site, the sweet little loft apartment that houses my office has been sitting fairly empty.

I have Decided to move into it and rent my home out for a few years.

Camille leaves for college this fall and then it's just me. I can do this. I can make believe it is the loft apartment I would have lived in out of college had I had the opportunity. I will have my chickens and my garden right there and will leave less of a carbon footprint living where I work.... or....working where I live. I'm getting used to the idea. It's all still pretty new, yet my goal is to be out and have my house rented by beginning/mid June.

Wow.

Building and Taking Down Fences

Yesterday I had a garden workday at school. Parents came to help build a fence around the area that will be the garden patch so that the chickens may still roam free without ravaging our garden. It was a very fun day of happy workers. The weather was HOT, and of course, come afternoon, the garden plot is the sunniest place in the yard.

Then in the evening we had our first meeting with Zak's girlfriend's family, over dinner at Taste of the Himalayas. It was nice to meet them all.

A friend of their family brought his dad, Henry, who is 92 years old and sharp as a tack.

I sat close to him so we chatted through dinner and realized that he raised his children (who are my age) in the same area where I grew up. I mentioned that I went to high school at Mercy, Burlingame. He said, "Oh, those sisters of Mercy who had no mercy!" I laughed at his accuracy and then his son added that he grew up in the woods surrounding that school. I told him (with a grin) that I did as well. I think he meant as a young, exploring child and I meant as a young, exploring teenager. The most beautiful thing is this: Heather told me that Henry's wife, his lifelong partner and mother of their 5 children, died a few years ago. Henry still puts on music in the living room and pretends he's dancing with her. I see it as not in a morose way of denial, but in that beautiful way of the spirit of joy that love brings, living on forever. It reminds me of that Kathy Matea song Where've You Been. If you aren't familiar with it, it's worth listening to as a beautiful love song.

Dinner was delish. I had my favorite Chicken Tandor.

The evening air was warm. We chatted a bit in the promenade and then Shannon and I went to the Irish Pub to get some bread pudding for dessert.

It's Sunday morning, and I had a very full Saturday. I slept until 9:30 this morning! Unheard of for me. And now I'm muscling the will to finish all of the laundry today before it's back to school tomorrow.

Oh. THAT hat.

Yes, I finished it that night. And it looked very cute lying on the table, right?

And then I tried it on Sassy. And then I tried it on Temple. So let me tell you. If you know anyone who just gave birth to an eggplant, have I got the hat for them.